I was engaged in a discussion about near death experiences with some people from a really elitist place filled with alcoholics, and they asked me to write out the near death experience I had.
The how behind it is pretty simple, I didn't respect the substances I was screwing around with and almost died. Anyhow here it is:
I was laying on the floor in a creepy cathedral, and I couldn't move for like an hour or so, but I felt pretty good so I didn't mind. After a while I was able to get up, and I started walking around, but time seemed to move really slowly, and once I got outside it was obvious. There were some birds flying, but they were going too slowly, and I started to wonder if I was in a dream. I had read a book about lucid dreaming, so I started looking for either a clock or a light switch, since neither of those are supposed to work in dreams. Eventually I found a puppy and played with it, but it was going slowly too, and then I started getting freaked out, and started backing up from the puppy, and bumped into an old guy, I guess a caretaker or something. He seemed to be moving normally, and I asked him if he knew where any clocks or light switches were, but he just kept saying "Don't do this again kid." every time, like a character in a game or something. This freaked me out more, so I just sort of closed my eyes and zoned out for what seemed like forever, and before I knew it I had woken up in the emergency room, and barely pulled through.
This is my face whenever I tell someone and they tell me I'm making it all up